We all have dreams. We all have fantasies and ideas about the future and what we want to achieve, but unfortunately, I think we all also have people in our lives who don't support those dreams. Doubters and disbelievers. Their negativity stems from a personal place and yet has the power to hit home. They've been known to temper dreams and derail plans, which is why I think it's important to establish a strong friendship and belief in yourself.
People thought I was crazy when I wanted to start up a pet-sitting business in Newport after I graduated college. Family members thought I was wasting my college degree while others simply didn't believe I'd be able to make a living, but I persevered and ended up creating a successful business that lasted five and a half years. The same doubters popped up when I said I wanted to write a book, but I went ahead anyway and finished my memoir (which will be out this Spring!). Once again, when I said I wanted to start a movement to help create a positive ripple in this world, people didn't believe, but here I am, writing and pursuing my dreams anyway.
What's my trick? There is no trick. The only difference between a dream-dweller and a dream-doer is self-belief. I wake up every morning and look myself in the mirror to say these three things:
"You are safe. You are loved. And I believe in you."
It's not strange or conceited to find comfort in your reflection. I think it's actually very healthy. Unconditional support can be hard to find--similar to finding unconditional love in this world (which I hope changes!)--and establishing that reciprocal support within yourself is crucial to success. Having a strong support system outside of yourself propels dreams, but at the end of the day, you have to come home to you. You have to lie in bed and recap the day--both the good and the bad--and hold onto the strength to keep going. You have to become your own cheerleader and push yourself on, even when those eye rolls and head shakes start to pile up in your head. You have to be able to push that pile aside and say, "Hey, self! I got you. You've got you. Let's dream on and do this!"
The stronger your love and belief in yourself, the less negativity will be able to affect your dreams. Imagine a force-field enveloped around you. The more self-talk, self-planning, self-mirroring, and self-loving you do, the thicker your force-field will be. Jump in with both feet! Even through the awkward beginning stages of your dreams, you have to dive in with full-confidence in yourself and what you want to achieve. The more you do this, the more you will start to attract others who believe in you too. Like positivity radiates, your self-belief will radiate and draw in the people and situations you need to succeed.
But don't get me wrong, even though I have a strong, established relationship with myself, I still am not immune to the doubters and dream-pokers. When the pile in my mind starts to rise too high or when my force-field starts to flicker, I remind myself to use the negativity as fuel. The point of any dream should never be to prove someone wrong, but . . . it sure is nice to succeed and prove them wrong anyway. Imagine the looks of awe and disbelief once you've achieved your goals. Swap out the pile for that inspiring image. Always swap negative words and faces with positive ones.
And above all else, relish your dreams! Relish our amazing capacity as human beings to birth new ideas and create change in this world. Relish the ups and the downs and all the people you meet along the way as you navigate toward your goals. One day, you'll look back and smile at those trying times, and then you'll breathe deeply and proudly in as you turn around and look in the mirror to say, "I did it."