Last night, I had plans to go to a weekly meditation class in Chester, Connecticut, but when I pulled up to the building, the parking lot was empty. I got out of my car and walked up to the front door to find a notice stating that the class was cancelled. I was thrown off. I didn't know what to do. I went back to my car to look at my planner, focusing in on the one uncrossed bullet of the day. A wrench had been thrown into my organized, rigid schedule. I was left free-floating, twenty minutes from my house, unsure what to do.
I could have gone home. I could have scribbled out this last failed plan and followed my boxed-in life back home, but instead I decided to close my planner and invite something new. I decided to tap into my creative mind and go with the flow of my unexpected evening. I decided to welcome spontaneity.
As a child, I was always spontaneous. I never planned my day. I followed my instincts and urges, doing what felt right in the moment and allowing the winds of life to lift my spirit and move me. As I grew older and took on the responsibilities of school and work, I of course needed to change. I needed to reel in some of my spirit and structure my energy in focused, productive ways to achieve my goals. Discipline is necessary at times. Good planning and organizational skills are important qualities for any person to have, but sometimes these qualities can take over and dull a life. They can form restrictive walls, shutting out the playful child within us all, cutting us off from the pure essence of the world. I never want to lose touch with this inner child. I never want to lose my ability to fall in love regularly and connect freely with the mysterious, shapeless flow of life.
And so, tapping into my free-spirit, fearless, and yes, a little weird, inner child, I decided to go to a nearby lake to dance under the moon. I turned up the music on my stereo and let the sound drift out my car's open window into the night air, the way I used to when I was a carefree teenager. I danced with my arms up high and looked up at the stars, remembering all the times I secretly danced as a kid under the night sky while my parents and sister slept upstairs.
I felt free. I felt energized. I felt open, both internally with my inner selves and externally with nature and the universe around me.
I got back in my car and drove home, feeling high, the way I feel when I'm in love. Love doesn't just happen between two people. Love also happens between a woman and the world--between a woman and her life. Much like a romantic relationship, I find it important to shake things up occasionally. Plans and routine keep me grounded, but spontaneity keeps me smiling and falling in love with my life, every single day.